Ricky’s Online Business Blog

In time for Malaysia’s 13th general election in 2013, I’ve made some posts on personal change in Malay language on Facebook using the currently hot UBAH theme (Ubah means Change).

Ubah #1 – Sembahyanglah sebelum disembahyangkan. Ubahlah sebelum diubahkan. Buatlah sesuatu positif selagi kita masih boleh buat.

Ubah #2 – Dulu di UM tulis karangan falsafah 1,000 patah perkataan kerjanya tak susah. Sekarang nak tulis FB 20 patah pun berminit-minit kena fikir. Sikap acuh tak acuh akibatnya masa perlu guna bahasa tak fasih. Ubahlah sikap kita, ubahnya tindakan kita, maka ubahlah hasil kejayaan dalam kehidupan kita.

Ubah #3 – Kita orang Malaysia kurang baca buku. Namun, berapa banyak kita baca tak sepenting berapa banyak kita laksanakan dalam kehidupan. Ubahlah menjadi pembaca dan juga pelaksana demi masa depan kita.

Ubah #4 – Belum kuasai bahasa kebangsaan sendiri, usah nak pelajari apa-apa bahasa asing. Aku rakyat Malaysia, bukan Jepun, Korea atau Thai. Bahasa kita didahului, budaya kita diutamakan.

Ubah #5 -
Hujan lebat jalan sesak,
Makan cili rasa pedas.
Sampai rumah hati senang,
Kalau kesal taubat sajalah.

Ubah #6 – Cemburu kerana kurang keyakinan. Degil kerana penuh ketakutan. Ubah demi kebaikan. Tukar demi kejayaan.

Ubah #7 – Tiada siapa yang akan menghormati kita jika kita tidak mahu mengubah minda sendiri demi masa depan kita.

Ubah #8 – Makan bola, Minum bola, Tidur bola. Kalau boleh ubah sikit jadi Makan buku, Minum buku, Tidur pun buku, kejayaan tidak jauh lagi.

Ubah #9 – Aku bukan orang sempurna, sering ada bersalah. Ibubapa pun tak sempurna, mungkin ada berdosa. Tiada siapa mahu jadi buruk, kita semua mahu hidup bahagia. Maafkanlah ibubapa kita, berkat bermula generasi kita.

Ubah #10 – Durian mencabar mentimun, menggolek kena, kena golek pun kena. Orang yang enggan berubah dengan masa, memujuk tidak rasa, kena pujuk pun tiada rasa.

Ubah #11 – Semua boleh buat, tapi bukan semua berfaedah. Semua boleh makan, tapi bukan semua berkhasiat. Semua boleh cakap, tapi bukan semua menggalakkan. Semua boleh dengar, tapi bukan semua memanfaatkan.

Ubah #12 – Rehat bukan semata-mata lepak. Rehat demi perjalanan lebih panjang. Ubah bukan semata-mata ubah. Ubah demi potensi kejayaan dalam kita.

Ubah #13 – Hati cinta sejati tapi tak dibalas, hancurkan lalu kehidupan baru boleh dimulakan. Pokok besar tapi sakit tak berbuah, tumbangkan lalu landskap taman boleh disusun semula.

Ubah #14 – Yang lepas usah nak sesal. Yang akan datang usah nak risau. Apa akan jadi 10 tahun nanti pada diri kita, keluarga kita dan kerjaya kita adalah kerana pilihan kita setiap masa sekarang.

Let me end with one more post in English.

The world is changing, people are advancing. If we are not adjusting, then we are perishing. Have an open mind, adapt to the time. Execute a personal UBAH plan.

I gave a speech recently in a Toastmasters meeting on this title – “No man is an island”. It is a true story of my own. It told the real Ricky behind Facebook.

I’m very active on my Facebook, and seen by many to be talkative, positive, motivating and inspiring. But am I really such person in reality? No, I’m more shy, quiet, introvert and seldom speak up, especially in a big group.

I told of a childhood story which was too private to repeat here. But it was an embarrassing and humiliating experience I couldn’t forget for many years. Basically it made me a loner and not socialize much. I even took up smoking as a loner’s “hobby” (I quit the habit years later).

In my years working for people, I came into conflicts with bosses and colleagues due to my anti-social behavior and inability to be good team player.  As a result, I was isolated and even boycotted. But one colleague was kind enough to write me a memo that said, “No man is an island”, a wake-up call for the rest of my life.

To cut a long story short, I learned up, adapted to the real world and started to perform better. After I transitioned into business later on, I learned even more especially from some inspiring bosses among my customers.

I still have much to learn, but at least now I can work in team and cooperate with others. Some friends even see me as extrovert and can’t believe I’m an introvert person.

I shall conclude with John Donne’s quotation here. “No man is an island, entire by itself; everyone is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

Have you got friends who suddenly say goodbye to you, for excuses you consider lame?

If you feel you have been wronged, you have been treated unfairly, you have not been appreciated for what you have done, you have invested much into the relationship but have not been reciprocated to, or you simply feel such break-up is unwarranted, you are not alone.

Recently, a close friend for more than 3 years wanted to cut tie and just remain as normal acquaintance.

You may want to complain out loud to other people.  You may want to post your grouses on Facebook.  You may want to send in angry tweets.  But may I suggest you just keep quiet?

People sometimes don’t know what they are doing.  Perhaps they are still young and for the time being out of their mind.  After all, when we were younger and even now after we have matured a bit, we have done and still stupid things from time to time.

But when they come to their sense one day, and regret for what they have done to you, they may feel sorry for you and even long for your forgiveness.  That’s the time you have the chance to embrace them back and gain back friends rather than enemies.

In life, there are many chances for us to practise forgiveness and grace.  Forgiveness means giving them the benefit of doubt that perhaps they have some problems that they have to behave this way.

It also means understanding that generally people want to do their best sincerely to satisfy their own needs versus needs of others, but sometimes there is imbalance due to circumstance or their incompetence, that unfortunately we end up being on the receiving end.

Grace means our being gracious enough not to mind being on the wrong end when they have such problems.  It means when people do wrong to us, we don’t need to take revenge and do the same bad thing to them.

In my case, though I feel I’ve been wronged, luckily I managed to control myself and not complain or talk bad about the friend, either online on Facebook or offline in person.

I have only objectively told what happened and expressed my disappointment to a few close friends who asked me about it.

I hope when the friend comes to realize his or her behavior one day, he or she will come back to me, and I’ll be ever ready to embrace back a close friend as before.

More than 2 years ago in 2009, I went back to school and became an MBA student in UPM.  Last month in January 2012, I finally turned in the very last comprehensive case study (similar to a thesis) and finished up the whole course.

I remembered joining the MBA course for 4 purposes: to learn, to develop, to network, and to enjoy.  I have always kept reminding myself on these throughout the MBA journey.

• Learn - I have learned much about business, its various areas and everything in a whole.  The last case study submitted was a consultative paper in which I learned to apply many things in the course to provide solution to a real-world problem.
• Develop - I should have become a better thinking person, thanks to certain good lecturers in the course.  But I’ve not been able to improve my communication skills including presentation and public speaking.
• Network - I might be one of the most connected person in my business school.  The last count on friends known through the course on Facebook stood at 318.  Unfortunately, most are shallow relationships and I hardly have more than a few buddies to speak of.
• Enjoy - After absence from school for years, I indeed have enjoyed the campus life.  In fact, I enjoyed every process including the stressful schedules to submit assignments, prepare for presentations and sit for exams.

• Financial goal – Increase my net worth for a certain amount.
• MiC (Masters in Communication) – I need to become a master in communication, the very thing that I missed out developing in the MBA course.

I guess I’m quite clear of what I need to achieve this year. How about you?