It was a few months ago when I joined a camp where the participants were thrown into the open sea and had to swim 350 meters back to the beach.  Everyone was clothed in life jacket and asked to move in a group.

There were three categories of us. The first category were those who didn’t know how to swim.  Blessed were them because they didn’t have to swim.  They had helpers to help them drift forward.

The second category were those who knew how to swim.  They not only needed to swim for themselves, but also gave a helping hand to non-swimmers to pull them towards the destination.

But the third category were those who didn’t really know how to swim well, but claimed they could swim.  They not only had to struggle their own way to the beach, they were supposed to help others too!

Guess which category I belonged to?  Perhaps I was one of its kind in this category

So I felt extremely tired, but it was still a long way in front. I couldn’t stop swimming to rest because we were supposed to swim together.  I looked at those swimming in front of me and knew how it felt to be left behind.  I looked at the beach far in front and realized I was the most desperate person in the worlds.

But I had no choice but kept telling myself, “Don’t give up. Keep on swimming. You can do it.”

I did it.  I swam to the shore and we completed the mission.  I felt thankful I had not given up.  I did the right thing to keep on swimming!

Recently I happened to come across the forgiveness issue from various places. I read about it, post and even discuss it on Facebook. I heard about it from friends. Some seminar speaker told me about it. Someone even sent me email about it!  Is it a hint to me I should be forgive anyone?

Back to forgiveness, I think we really need to forgive others who have done something wrong to us. If we don’t forgive, we harbor the hatred in us. It will not only strain our relationship, but also become a kind of bitterness in us that can curse us in our life and relationships.

But if we could choose to forgive, we will release our self from the hatred and bitterness. Then we are able to enjoy relationships with people and live our life to the max.

Unfortunately, people who do not enjoy true, loving relationships with people are most probably the ones who are in the bondage of unforgiveness.

A customer told me on Facebook it’s very difficult to forgive people in some cases. Absolutely right. Indeed, may I venture to say that by our own strength we will never be able to forgive those who wronged us?

But when we have experienced for our self that someone has forgiven us for our wrong to him or her in the past, it will not be that difficult to pass on the forgiveness to others.

Think about the kids. If they never learn to own a toy, they may not learn to share it with other kids. But if they have learned to own and enjoy a toy, they will learn to share the joy with others.

About one year ago, a friend lent me some lecture notes but unfortunately I misplaced it. However, she didn’t blame me. She forgave me.

But in recent months, I lent some lecture notes to another friend but somehow he also lost it. I felt angry. But if my previous friend could forgive me for my mistake, why can’t I forgive this friend for his mistake?

By the way, we also often hear people say they will “forgive, but not forget”. But I wonder when some of them say this, they are saying it with bitterness in heart. Are they truly forgiving others or not?

I’m thinking that the key is to forgive. Forget or not? It does not really matter. What do you think about this?

The problem is, who to trust and what to entrust them with? This comes with experience. My observation in business is that, we should be shrewd as snakes (know the workings of the devil), but be innocent as doves (be like angel believing the world can get better)

No doubt we are living in a distrustful world. There are some people who just can’t be trusted. But I guess most people are innocent like you and me, basically good people but just hesitate to trust others.

I suppose the world maintains itself based on trust, without which it will just break down. We trust our engineers have done good job that our roof won’t fall down to hit our head. We trust our banker with our money that it won’t get lost.

Managing people needs trust. We must trust our employees for certain things, or we will end up doing all the job ourselves.  Expanding business network needs trust. We must trust our partners that they will do their part, or we will end up being lone ranger in business.

There is a Chinese saying that if we use the service of people, trust them. Otherwise, do not hire him (用人不疑，疑人不用). Especially true in managing people who work for us.

Correct me if I’m wrong, the world needs more trust.  As we extend our trust to people more, good and innocent people like you and me will reciprocate their trust to us.

Between trusting people and distrusting people, I would rather choose to trust than distrust. The world needs more trust and we can do our part to make it a better world. Not only for the world, but for the advantage of ours and people around us too.

The problem is, who to trust and what to entrust them with? This comes with experience. My observation in business is that, we should be shrewd as snakes (know the workings of the devil), but be innocent as doves (be like angel believing the world can get better)

• Leadership is a service. A leader is one who provides a service called leadership.
• A leader is just one part of the team.  Everyone in the team plays his or her own role.  The leader plays a role by providing leadership.
• Since leadership is a service, a leader is one who serves others by providing that service. He or she is a servant (one who serves) to others.  The leader is a servant leader.
• Leadership is a calling.  It is something bestowed to the leader.  It is not his or her thing. The leader serves for something higher than just him or herself.
• Leadership is nothing glorious. It is not about the leader. It is not about anyone’s reputation. It is not about exalting the leader him or herself. He or she has no need to take credits.
• When his or her job is done, or his or her term with the team is over, the leader should just step down and let others take over. The leader should not stay on for the sake of ego.
• The leader is not one who sits behind and instructs people to do things. He not only knows the way, but he walks the way, and shows the way too.
• Leadership is about more than just inspiring others to be their best, but is also about inspiring others to be better persons than before.
• A leader teaches others to fish.  He or she does not fish for them.  But when necessary, the leader does fish with them.
• A leader does not just seek to complete the tasks given, but seeks to take care of the people working with him or her too.  The leader should seek to make them better persons after working together than before.

Sun Tzu says, “Hence his victories bring him neither reputation for wisdom nor credit for courage” (故善戰者之勝也，無智名，無勇功).  Once a leader’s job is done, just get lost!  The world is not about the leader.

My view may not be complete, nor even correct.  But if you feel disagreeable on anything, please feel free to disagree.

Recently it dawns upon me that I should reflect on my MBA experience after each semester and write it down. It will be great later in life to look back and relive the wonderful experience I have had in this stage of life. So I would like to record down these experiences in the first semester (July to October 2009) while the memory is still fresh…

It’s been years since I wanted to go back to school. Unlike my friends, I have taken a weird and slow route by taking only 2 subjects per semester, due to my personal reasons for taking MBA. In the first semester, my two subjects were Accounting for Business Decision, and Organizational Behavior.

Though I have had a little background in accounting before, this subject in managerial accounting has been quite a learning experience for me. Under the guidance of our good lecturer Dr Foong, I have been made to see beyond the numbers and look into the rationales behind accounting decisions made by businesses.  I was even once challenged and “cornered” by her publicly in class for a decision made to the extent that I felt like losing face. But I’m glad to have gone through this learning process.

The students in accounting class were divided into groups. Due to a little “expert power” in the subject matter, I emerged as natural leader of my group of six members. We had many discussions together for our assignments, completed one class presentation, and had some arguments too.

Thinking back from now, this group in accounting class has been the strongest group I ever joined so far in two semesters. Almost everyone is someone is his or her own way – either as a good leader or team player. Yes, I think we have scored well together, thanks to team members working together

Accounting group members

As for Organizational Behavior (OB), it’s been an eye-opening experience to learn about human behaviors in organizations. But more importantly, it actually helped me to discover myself. I especially liked the self-assessment quizzes in the textbook. These tests had helped me to know my own weaknesses, especially in assertiveness, conflict resolution and negotiation.

All students were also required to stand before class and present on selected topic. Drawing on my past MLM experience and other life experiences, I presented on “Self-Efficacy – If You Think You Can, You Can!”. It was the first time I shared such authentic life story to many people. The sharing has since been one of the presentations I like most so far.

As part of coursework for OB, I also paired up with a classmate to produce a training booklet for managers on negotiation using Sun Tzu’s Art of War. It is completed with two case studies, one from the then crisis in MCA, and another from the US-Malaysia talk for free trade agreement. I have been reading about Sun Tzu for some years, and now so glad to be able to apply the principles learned in a real life topic

Due to time constraints of our initial group leader in OB class, he passed on to me the responsibility to coordinate our group work. We did fairly well in our group project and presentation on “Have You Got A Lady Boss?” I have also learned to use Google Apps to conduct online survey!

MBA is part of my self-development plan.  In this first semester, I have learned about being a team leader and a team player. Wherever I have been put to serve, whether as a leader or follower, just play my role to the best and serve lah. Don’t complain!

I have learned before that leadership is a service. A leader is one who serves others. It is not about personal ego and glory. When you have done your job, just get lost and let others take over. I subscribed to the idea of servant leadership. But I have not had the chance to practise until first semester when I could serve in both Accounting and OB groups.

But it had not been all smooth sailing, and I have encountered problems too. The first situation was when two group members had some conflict with each other. As group leader, I had mediated between them too. Though it’s resolved and they are now well as before, I also discovered that I could not handle conflicts very well. It’s been quite lucky to me that the conflict did not escalate to affect the group performance.

In the second situation, one capable group member turned down my request to perfect her work, that I had to get another member to take over her part in the last minute while everyone was busy. To be frank, it hurt me and inconvenienced others. But I found myself having problem confronting team members when they did not go my way. I should also have clarified expectations of what I wanted more clearly. But most importantly, I have been taught to exercise “grace”, be forgiving and not hold grudge against anyone when feeling wronged. (No grudge ever held because later in second semester we teamed up again and she has delivered good job)

Another skill I gained was speed reading (with speed understanding). Previously I was not able to read fast. But in the MBA course, sometimes we are required to absorb a lot of materials in short span of time. At first, I complained about having to read 120 pages in just 4 days in one instance. But now I found myself reading much faster than before. Thanks to MBA

In overall, the first semester has been a good start of a self-discovery journey.  I have enjoyed the campus life very much, to the extent that I wish I could stop working and concentrate on studies alone.

I’m satisfied with my performance in the first semester. I was also socially active, and participated in class a lot, especially when compared to second semester later. I’ll write about the more eventful second semester. Stay tuned…

How about the start of your MBA? Did you share any similar experience with me?

Question – Why am I different from others?
Answer – Do you have to be like others?

Don’t seek to be like others! Everyone of us is unique and has our own destiny to realize in life!

From marketing point of view, the commercial is also great. Pantene shampoo is a functional product and has its conventional market of shampoo users. But now it seeks to cross over from functionality to emotional appeal. Instead of using logic to tell us why it is a better brand, it seeks to attack our emotion and win our heart over.

Not only will it persuade more people from the its traditional market to use the product, those who don’t use their kind of shampoo maybe bought over too. Who knows I might decide to buy Pantene for my family next time? Perhaps this is one of the blue ocean strategies to conquer a new market.

And the tagline is inspirational – You can shine!

By the way, I consider the Thai language very beautiful phonetically. It is a language I wish to learn if I had extra time.

We can be obedient to the customers and obey whatever they ask us to do.  Tell me what you want and I’ll do it for you.  If you don’t tell me anything then I will not do anything for you.

We can also be of service to the customers and serve them in their needs and wants.  Is there anything I can help you?  I have become more proactive in serving you.

We can also be “loving” to the customers by giving them our “love”, not only our service.  We are here to bless you and make your life better.  We will serve you even if you are not (yet) our customer.

It gives value to the employees as a good employer and workplace, to the customers as a provider of goods and services value for their money, to the owners for their effort and money well invested, and to the society at large as a responsible corporate citizen to help in sustainable development.

Similarly, why do we individuals exist in this world? Why are we born into this world? For what purpose? I believe, apart from coming to eat and drink, to work and enjoy life, we are here to create values for others.

There’s a Chinese saying that “a tiger dies and leaves its skin, but a man dies and leaves its name” (虎死留皮,人死留名). When we are gone, we will not take away any wealth and materials earned in this life. But we will leave a “name”, or better called our “legacy”.

But the “name”, “legacy” or “reputation” left is not for our interest, but it’s a by-product as we seek to fulfill our purpose in life. And I believe our purpose here is to bless others, that is to bring good things to others, to create values for others by our existence on this earth.

And to be able to give values to others, I’ve been taught not to always look inwards to myself too much, but to look outwards to pay attention to what others need.

This is just what I have learned. I don’t want to be just a traveler in this world, and I’m learning to be a blessing. Let’s create values for others!

I contacted a freelancer friend and he promised to to contact the customer to meet up. Two weeks later, he had not yet called and told me he lost the customer’s number.

I gave him the number again and expected him to call soon. Still, weeks later until now, when the customer complained me that my friend has never called him!

This little incident reminds me of being faithful at work. That is being a good steward of whatever given to me to produce results.

I have been given talents, skills, expertise, time, opportunities, some capital, networks of customers and other valuable resources. I should not squandered these resources away but use them for the benefit of others.

Even if I’m not very talented and I have only very few resources. But if I could remain faithful and still make good use of them, I can slowly expand my circle of influence. Then I will be given more resources.

But if I don’t make good use of them, even these resources could be taken away.

So when I am called to serve, like this friend being given an opportunity, I should serve faithfully. Then I know I will be given more opportunities to serve.

Do you think I will still recommend this friend again for freelance work? I don’t think so.  He has wasted his opportunity.

As for me, I never followed up after passing the case to my friend. I have not been a good steward of his trust extended to me. Will he entrust me again for anything?

Successful people are disciplined people. They are in control of themselves, in particular:

Successful people master their moods – They do things they should do even when they don’t feel like doing it.

Successful people watch their words – They control their tongue so as not to say anything wrong.

Successful people restrain their reactions – They are proactive in choosing their response to situations.

Successful people stick to their schedule – They control their time or their time will be controlled by others!

Successful people manage their money – They spend what they should and live below their means.

Successful people maintain their health – What’s the point to win all the world only to lose our body?

I confess there are many areas for me to improve. Let’s strive together for success!